I Had Nightmares About This Dunk

Last night around 2:30 AM I'm drinking Strawberry Milkshakes in a hot tub with Zooey Deschanel and I'm telling her about the shipwreck I survived circa 2007. Zooey's just eating it up. "Oh my god. You're so brave! And you still managed to save all those turtles?" Slowly, as I move a lock of her hair behind her ear, I say, "That was all that mattered." She takes a deep slurp of her milkshake. It's empty. With the last bit of strawberry fresh on her tongue, she wets her lips. I feel the tips of her fingers on the inside of my thigh--BAM!!!!

She vaporizes. Nightcrawler style teleports. The water in the tub evaporates. A 10 foot Huffy B-Ball hoop comes sprouting out of the ground. I'm standing, awkwardly hard, 6 feet from Blake Griffin, wearing a Viking helmet. He rushes me. Knees me in the face as he dunks all over my wet ass. I turn around. BAM! There's another Blake. We're on Mars. He's dressed like an astronaut. (Fuck you NASA). Moonman slams it on my ass. Gasping for oxygen, I teleport to the jungle. I see a bamboo rim. Sure enough, Tarzan Griffin Gorilla running at me with a Mango in his teeth. He leaps. Nutsack to my face Mango Juice on my head. I wipe the sticky out of my eyes. I see we're in a dojo. Blake is a ninja....this goes on and on.

Way to cock block Blake.

ps he manages to catch the ball after the dunk. so nasty.