LeBron James: MVP (Molesting Vulnerable Preteens)

“I just asked them if they were OK,” James said. “They were smiling. They had two lollipops in their hands. That’s always the cure.”

So I took the LSAT. Nailed it. Got like an A- or something. Who knows how those nerds score it. But, I'm convinced I'll be the next Johnnie Cochran or Tom Cruise or some shit. So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, allow me to make my case... 

We all know I'm not one to blow things out of proportion. So, I'm not going to say this is indisputable evidence that LeBron is a Sandusky-Style baby diddler. But, after seeing everyone from A-List skanks like Kim Kardashian to Madison Square Smokes to Braindead Babes trying to fuck that Asian bro from Harvard ya gotta remember, It's the NBA ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. 

Perhaps you remember a few years back when Bron Bron stole some french fries from a starved youth not too much older than our victim shown above...

Still not convinced? Well here we have a precedent. Notice here we have definitive evidence of LeBron's lips all up on this C-Town Sweetie. Check the the look on Old Man River's face while LeBron just smooches the shit out of his ball-and-chain's earpiece! And is that Mike Brown on the right? That Monkey Fudger really was all over Bron's sac. Just hustling 50 feet cross court to cup the King's nuts while he throws down on Father Time's ladyfriend. Just dispicable. 

Proof's in the pudding, so eat up Bitches. Spons out.