Carolina's New Logo Just Putting 'Em Lightyears Ahead Of The Competition

By Associated Press, Published: January 29

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Carolina Panthers have a new look.

For the first time since joining the league in 1995, the Panthers have changed their logo. According to a press release Sunday night, the logo has been designed to provide a “more aggressive, contemporary look to the logo while making it more three-dimensional for ever-increasing digital use.”The Panthers will transition to the refined logo throughout 2012.The primary tweaks made by the creative department of the National Football League are primarily in the features in the eye and mouth.Team president Danny Morrison says “we have one of the finest and most recognizable logos in the NFL and wanted to make it as modern as possible without losing the dramatic essence of the mark.”

Change gonna come people! Change gonna Come! 
Oh...It's the same fucking thing. Okay. Okay. I see what you're doing. Got rid of a bit of that square jaw we all know Panthers have and the two toned whiskers were never doing you any real favors anyways. So it's nice....I guess. But, guys, come on. Call this what it is: a Scam. Newton that is. 

Can't knock the hustle though. Cam Newton's Carolina jersey was the 16th best seller (cha-ching) in the NFL this year and he wasn't even on the Panthers until a third of the way through 2011. He is one of the most exciting players to watch in the NFL and is definitely the new face of the 'new' Carolina franchise (cha-ching). And now the Panther faithful that were beating down the doors to watch their 6 and 10 football team get to shell out another hundo for a Scam 2012 jersey (cha-ching) just to be hip with the "aggressive" new direction this team is going. 

And Danny Morrison, Mr. Panther President, who thinks the Panther is "one of the finest and most recognizable" in the league. Don't shit a shitter. You don't see Green Bay or Pittsburgh photoshopping their helmets to stay 'aggressive'. "Back to the drawing board, fellas. How do you expect Eli to beat Brady with that vintage 'ny' on his helmet?"


 The Carolina Panther is just average. Plain. Boring. Dull. Look at how wide that neck/shoulder area is. It's like a kittycat face sketched on top of a Bob Ross mountainscape. You're not ridiculous enough for me ridicule or historic enough for me to envy. Your just a pissed off meowza, Dan, a pissed off meowza.

For my entertainment and to spark up some debate, here are the 5 best and 5 worst logos in the professional sporting world (that matters NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL).

The Best:

1. Chief Wahoo. Hands down favorite. I know the Tribe sometimes just uses that pussy cursive "I" but when they just slam the red, white and blue racist ass Indian in your face, what else can ya do? So what if they haven't won a ring in since Truman was in office. Hail to the chief. and his name is Wahoo.

2. The Chicago Bull. Maybe it's just cause I learned how to play ball when Jordan was in the league but goddamn what I wouldn't give to put that red and black on a throwback starter jacket. It's the history, the intimidation and the street smarts not to put one of those corny rings in its nose.

3. The Milwaukee Brewers. So this shit blew my mind when I was a kid. Automatically made the list. For those of you who just see a baseball in a mit. Look again! It is a lowercase "m" on top of a lowercase "b". M. B. Milwaukee Brewers. Yeah. Goodluck having a normal day now. (Have you ever seen the two people dunking chips in the salsa of the Tostitos logo. They're the lower case t's! Fucking world we live in.)

4. The New York Yankees/The Boston Red Sox. Ok, I'm not happy about it either, but they belong on this list. I'm not giving them their own spots because most of the people who wear these hats (B or NY) couldn't name the starting line-up. But, because for the die hards out there who were lucky enough to be born into these historic club's fan bases. Granted it is a life most of us won't ever know (expecting championship after championship) but it's the model we strive for. Hate to say it, but I love watching the rivalry when they play eachother. And when the Yanks or Sox are in town, a victory always feels that much sweeter. And didn't Jay-Z but like a 50,000$ Yankee hat? I'm pretty sure that happened. Nobody is paying more than 15$ for a Orioles cap. 

5. The Houston Texans. Fact: Arian Foster has style. Fact: Arian Foster carved the Texan into his dome-piece. Fact: The Houston Texans Logo is 100% legit. Fact: The dude made the word Aryan OK to say on television. He basically single handedly defeated the Nazis here people. Fact.

The Worst:

1. The Detroit Red Wings. I have no idea what the fuck a red wing is. I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at. You're the motor city...Cool. So you draw a chariot-esque looking thing. I saw some people saying this is the best logo ever. Period. Not just sports teams but like anything. Corporate or whatever. It's fucking stupid. Why don't you just throw your pensions onto the ice instead of your nonrelevant octopuses you jobless fucks. (I know, it's octopi. Fuck you for caring.)

2. The Memphis Grizzlies. It's a Pupil-less Teddy Bear.

3. The Buffalo Bills. Always hated this. Maybe it's cause a Bill is either a 400 pound ball of fluff that's craziest life experience is grazing or a middle-aged fat guy who comes over to fix my plumbing. Either way this mascot sucks.

4. The Miami Marlins. So you sell cocain and fuck strippers. That's all I see when I look at this Grand Theft Auto Vice City logo. Like serious this is straight out of Scarface. The fact that this team is roping in mad ass superstars to wear this heinous logo on their sleeve is mind baffling. I get it, fashion is gay or whatever. But so is wearing Pink orange and Teal running around in the sunshine and fresh cut grass with 10 of your friends while wearing tight pants. Your lucky I don't put you on blast for the Dolphins too, Miami. People aren't scared of fish...don't you get it? (I know, Dolphins are mammals. Fuck you for caring.)

5. The Oakland Raiders. This has bothered me the duration of my entire natural life. Dude has an eyepatch. He's a pirate I get it. Har Har. But his other eye is fucking CLOSED! Stupid ass Raider can't see shit. I don't care how sick that Indiana Jones movie was, this Raider sucks. He probably can't hear anything through that old school helmet either. Deaf and Blind is not exactly the recipe for success.